Are you single, going out (looking, but not looking) and feeling like you’re wasting your time?
Is it discouraging to think about meeting people in new settings and new groups because you’re tired of the same results–no matter where you go?
Maybe you could consider a slight change in your approach. Perhaps you could go places and actually …well… be present. Maybe you could show up somewhere and –BE there? What would that look like?
Live every day as if it’s your last because one of these days you’re bound to be right. Breaker Morant
If you lived every day as if it were your last, you might NOT feel bored or restless, or that meeting other people was a waste of time. You could pay attention to the opportunities that might be right in front of you but you were unable to see. Or, if you were completely present, you might notice that you don’t like the company you keep …and you could decide not to go there again.
Here’s a new way to think about adventuring out of the house:
* Get into it. Knock yourself out when you go places. Don’t hang back, or let your shyness take over, or not participate. After all–this could be your last day. Wherever you are, roll up your sleeves and forget about the other places you COULD be. This is it for the moment.
*Look for what is good… about the people, the setting, the vibe. Then–let people know what you see. Everyone wants to be appreciated for something.
*Avoid the poison. You don’t have time for draining experiences. Nor do you need to criticize others for the consciousness they are locked into. Just remove yourself gracefully and move on to another conversation. Look for the positive people.
*Enjoy looking good –not to be better than anyone else, but to treat yourself with care and kindness and to feel good about your presentation. Guys—don’t wear funky shoes or your work shoes when you go out. Girls notice shoes. Get some shoe advice. And be sure to compliment your date on how she looks because she probably spent a lot of time on finding just the right outfit and accessories to wear. Maybe not…but maybe she did. And if so, she’d appreciate a sincere compliment.
*Reveal something funny. People warm to honest humor. Did you argue a case in court dragging a two-foot piece of toilet paper across the floor stuck to your shoe for an hour? Did you fall into the pool fully clothed on your way to check into a hotel and had to walk through the lobby soaking wet? These are actual stories people told me that made them sound terribly human.
*Have fun: laugh, dance, sing along …and talk to people. The point of going out is to enjoy yourself. Pay attention to the times when you go out and come home feeling tired versus those times you come back full of energy. You want to continue doing the things you’re doing that gave you the good feelings.
*Go easy on the drinks. Talk about avoiding the poison. If you want to poison your evening, or people’s attitude about you, or even the moment you could have shared with someone, but you were too altered to BE there, drinking too much will rob you of all the love that wants to find you.
If you want to meet someone, you have to go out–over and over. While you’re out there, you might as well have a good time. And if you’re having a good time—and you are present–you will never be wasting your time. You also may not remain single for very long.